I recently took my first real vacation in over two years. When I say real, I mean going away, not a staycation, to someplace unfamiliar and staying there for more than a couple of days.
For a long time, I came up with all sorts of excuses for not planning a vacation. My partner and I have a lot of responsibilities at this time of my life as part of the sandwich generation, caring for my family as well as elderly relatives. It seemed impossible to go away; who would step in? There was work - impossible hours for my partner, huge time demands for me as I build a business from nothing. It seemed as though we were always fixing something on the house, too, which required us to be here and to spend money that we may otherwise have spent on a holiday. Top all of these reasons with the effort of planning the trip and I was exhausted just thinking about it.
I had committed to embracing serenity this year and had been making progress. But hanging on to serenity as I moved past burnout to numbness was a nonstarter. I needed a break.
So, I started planning. I’m the planner in the family, which, I’m sure, contributes to my fatigue. I had to take into consideration all my partner’s restrictions, including distance, method of travel, exact timing and length of the vacation, and what he wanted to see and experience (or not). The vacation planning wore me out even more, but I knew it would be worth the trouble.
When I finally completed the reservations, I had the most amazing sense of lightness. Simply the thought of going away had already started to relax me.
The vacation was all that I had anticipated. It was refreshing to see the new sights and to experience life in a different place. The difference in the pace was what I noticed at first. We were able to move through our days without having to coordinate and plan. We could decide on the spur of the moment what we wanted to do with no need to hurry. We had left the crowds and traffic behind, so reaching our destinations was easy. I especially enjoyed immersing myself in the moment.
What I learned from the experience was that I needed to do better at giving myself mental breaks. Not just for an hour or a day, but periodically for much longer. Spending time away from my usual chores and responsibilities rejuvenated me and I was able to return to my work with a different energy that was less frenetic and more focused. I rediscovered the joy in my work and in the day-to-day of my family life.
As a result, I’ve made a few resolutions that I encourage you to adopt, as well:
Watch for signs of burnout
Sometimes we don’t realize that we’re reaching the burnout stage. We’re so wrapped up in our daily activities and satisfying the needs of all those around us that we lose sight of what’s happening inside ourselves. Take mental inventory of the following:
Your moods – Are you feeling impatient, sad, or frustrated more often?
Your energy – Are you fatigued more often or for longer periods?
Your responses – Are your answers to questions or responses to others’ comments and suggestions terse? Are you losing the ability to give others the benefit of the doubt?
Your outlook – Are you feeling less optimistic or hopeful than you usually feel?
Your go-to stress relievers – Are they losing their effect and/or appeal?
If you find yourself nodding yes enthusiastically to the above questions, it’s time for a vacation.
Remember that you can’t help others if you’re not helping yourself
If you’ve ever been on a plane, you’ve heard the admonition to secure your own oxygen mask before helping others. It’s sage advice because you can’t come to the aid of others if you’re suffocating.
My coach training emphasized that a coach views others as individuals capable of solving their own problems and produced a shift in me to detach my ego from the outcome. I still feel responsible for my family members, but I’m not as attached to being everybody’s problem-solver as I once was. I’m much more likely now to self-monitor and view myself as someone whose needs are as worthy of response as theirs. If I’m reaching a point at which I can’t continue to be productive, then I know I need time off.
Prioritize health and mental refreshment
Interestingly, there are benefits to going on vacation that start before you even begin your holiday, including for heart rate and blood pressure. As people start anticipating their vacation,…their stress is bothering them less…negative emotions and anxiety and worry [are] not having the same kinds of implications for their body.
We feed our body food (sometimes too much) and sleep (sometimes not enough), but what are we doing to nourish our creativity and innovation? Going on holiday makes you feel more present and stimulated. Taking time to see new sights and have new experiences encourages us to also have new thoughts. A change of pace and environment can relieve burnout and help new ways of thinking flourish.
A healthier future
I’m now eagerly anticipating my next vacation. Interestingly, so is my partner. We’ve already started to talk about options for destinations and activities. We’re both convinced now that we can’t wait until we’re burned out to start planning. Besides, it’s so much fun to think about the possibilities.
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